Seriously, I’m Not Starting the Kitchen Renovation

I’m not. Because I’ve got a barn to paint, and a garden to weed, and a pergola to build. I’ve got chickens and donkeys and bees to tend to. Plus an unfinished bathroom or two, and a dozen more outdoor projects that need to be completed before winter.

BUT.

But if I was going to start the kitchen renovation, I’d definitely tear out the floor…

Which, okay. I did that. But the dumpster was here… that was just being efficient.

However, when I do finally decide to start working on the kitchen, I’ll definitely want to reconfigure a few of the cabinets.

The large pantry and wall oven have always driven me a little nuts. It looks like a big cabinet-tumor on the left side of the kitchen, and throws the balance of everything out of whack. That doorway? WTF.

So if I was going to start the kitchen renovation– which obviously I’m not– I’d definitely buy a few replacement base and wall cabinets. And maybe a shelf for the end of the island to extend it out a bit more…

And, actually, if I’m being honest, I found myself with some floor plans wandering around Lowe’s on a rainy day a few weekends ago, and decided I might as well order some cabinets to have at the house just in case I find the time to start the kitchen renovation. Which I won’t. Clearly.

I also really like having a functioning kitchen, you guys. Remember that time I lived in a garage and didn’t have a functioning kitchen for two years? Pizza rolls cooked on the grill in the middle of winter have their charms, but… I actually like being able to cook real vegetables now.

Well, so, here’s a thing… turns out there are a lot of good Fourth of July sales on appliances this week. So, you know, I figured it would also probably a good idea to buy the new stove that will replace the wall-oven and cooktop, so that when I do decide to start renovating the kitchen I won’t be without appliances.

I’d love to have a gas stove, but since my heat runs on fuel oil, and I’m really not interested in running a propane line in to the house just for the stove, I went with this electric one…

Looks pretty good, all considering, and gets great reviews across the board. I used to stress about this shit, but now I just make my decision and move on because I have some feelings about things I put in this house, but mostly I have feelings about how much food I can grow, and whether or not I need some pygmy goats (I do, right?) and I don’t care to spend that much time worrying about something I’m basically going to use to heat up water to boil fresh eggs…

So, really, I’ve been thinking about my plan for the kitchen every time I’ve set foot in this room for the last, uh, three years. When this goes down I know exactly how I’m going to attack it:

• Step 1: Fill all the nail holes in the wood paneling, one section of the room at a time (because if I try to do the whole thing at once, I’ll lose my shit… do you know how many nail holes there are in this room? Thousands.)
• Step 2: Replace cabinets and trim where necessary.
• Step 3: Widen entryway (move electrical where necessary.)
• Step 4: Paint cabinets and paneling (which I expect to take no less than a thousand coats of paint.)
• Step 5: Mod existing cabinets for better function.
• Step 6: New sink and hardware.
• Step 7: New counters.
• Step 8: New flooring.
• Step 9: Install wood stove.
• Step 10: Refinish kichen table, chairs, and bar stools.

But obviously I’m not going to attack it right now… because that would be crazy.

Um…